Come with me, if you will, on a journey of both sight and sound. The time is 11:58 PM, you are sleeping peacefully in bed, dreaming of those things which bring you joy. You are frolicking in the bliss of your imagination. Some drool collects on your pillow and you let out a soft snufflish-snort, but definitely not a snore. Everything is at peace...
This is the Seattle Police! Come out or you will get bit! I repeat: Come out now or you will get bit!
A loud voice rips through your dreams and startles you awake. A German Sheppard barks sharply, loudly, repeatedly...
Woof! WOOF! Woof! Come out now! WOOF! WOOF! This is the Seattle Police!
In a panic you shoot out of bed. Red and blue lights flash across your ceiling. Heavy footsteps can be heard racing across your walkway. A garbage can crashes to the ground. "What the fuck is going on?" You think. "Did they finally find out that I was the one who fed the hamster crayons and made him shit colors in the 4th grade?" The adrenaline starts pumping and you are wide awake. Then you realize what is going on: the cops are chasing an actual criminal. One who just happened to think that hiding under your neighbor's car was a pretty good idea. One who is about to get bit by a ferocious sounding German Shepard if he doesn't put his hands where the officer can see them and come out from under the car. He can see you; a fact he has repeated at least half a dozen times.
Goddammit! Woof! WOOF! woof! There's another one. He's headed north! I repeat, he's headed north. 200 yards south of the scene. I have one suspect, the other is headed north.
You climb out of bed, making sure that none of the 12 cops trampling your beautiful grass can see you just in time to see the perp being dragged out from under the car. The German Sheppard happily laying down in the street, God's fear successfully instilled in everybody in the neighborhood. You spend the next 30 minutes watching the cops come and go, frisking the suspect, sorting his belongings and eventually disappearing back into the night.
Still with me? Good, now you have had the same pleasure that I had Tuesday night when I was rudely awakened by what seemed to be the entire Seattle police force. Not to say it wasn't exciting, but it took me about 2 hours to fall back asleep after the incident, and even then, I kept having dreams that the cops were after me. I'd love to link you all to the police report, or a blurb in the local police blotter, but Seattle doesn't have one of those. So, you'll have to make do with my version, unless you happen to see an episode of Cops: Seattle, because it so totally would have made the A roll.
yikes, man. that sounds uber freaky and stuff. Don't really know what ta tell ya about that. Glad you and meg are alrigth though. That's a good thing.
in other news: I may be adopting a dog. I put in the application yesterday, and I find out on friday if I get her. Here's hoping!!
take care, austin.
Posted by: parker | June 08, 2006 at 09:34 AM
That's awesome!
What kind of dog? What's her name? Where'd you find her? If you ever need a dog-sitter and are in the greater Seattle area, let me know!
Posted by: Austin | June 09, 2006 at 08:52 AM