Buffalo Blog

Damn the Man!

I looked both ways. No traffic was coming. I saw the hand was red. I crossed. I get to pay $46. Funny thing is that I constantly see people urinating, smoking crack, rolling joints, and defacing property, sometimes all at the same time and I get a ticket for crossing the street so I wouldn't miss my bus. It's ridiculous. The other funny thing, is that I was warned. When I moved to Seattle, people said, "We don't jaywalk in Seattle, the police ticket for that." But I laughed and said, "Don't the police have better things to do with their time?" I now know the answer. I'm thinking of selling the citation on eBay to subsidize the cost I have to pay. Would you pay $50 for a jaywalking ticket from the fine city of Seattle? It just might be a collector's item someday.

Gotham City Ninjas

To quote a professional:

Ninjas can kill anyone they want!  Ninjas cut off heads  ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town.  My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

So that's when I was totally shocked to hear that there is a restaurant in New York where the Ninjas don't just flip out and kill you, but serve you sushi and sake. It's called Ninja: New York. It is a $3.5 million dollar, 6,000-square-foot recreation of two 18th-century, mountainside Japanese villages, Iga and Kouga, the birthplace of Ninja warrior lore (more info an a review at LowerManhattan.info). So, if you're looking to have your mind blown and you're in the greater NYC area, head on over for the deadliest dinner of your life. If you manage to make it out of the place alive, let me know how it is. If you're too scared to go yourself, this video (clearly designed to lure victims to their lair) gives you an idea of what they want you to expect. But you can't anticipate a ninja's moves, so the only thing you can expect is the unexpected.

Before I wrap this post up, I have to give credit where credit is due. I did not discover this totally rad restaurant by myself. My friend Juan tipped me off. I think Juan may in fact be a ninja, but don't let him know you know, or it will be the last thing you ever know. He's working on a top secret new business venture, and I'm sure it will be awesome. If you're interested, head over to his blog inluu territory to find out how it's going.