Buffalo Blog

Won't You Be My Neighbor

I recently discovered this great new blog, CHS: Capitol Hill Seattle. It's all about my neighborhood and it's been up for a little over a year. They are way better about keeping up with their posts, generally posting a few times a day. So, during the slow times at the Buffalo Blog, head on over there to see what's up. They have already turned me on to a lot of great things in the area, like Vios, a hip, Greek Market and restaurant with the best meatball sandwiches around! Soooo good.

CHS also tipped me off another great resource, The Capitol Hill Times. It's got more great stuff about what's going on in the neighborhood. I think the reason I like this site so much is that they have a police blotter. Be warned though, it can get a little addicting. Plus, I've had a jones for a police blotter ever since I desperately tried and failed to find one in the days after the incident involving the police dog and the man under our neighbor's car. It only goes back about a month, so I'm no closer to unraveling that mystery now than I was then. Good times. "Come out or you will get bit." What a nice welcome to the neighborhood.

I digress. CHS is a very cool blog and makes me feel a little more hip knowing what's going on in the neighborhood. For example, I bet you didn't know that some guy is filming an indie movie at the old First Church of Christ, Scientist? Or that the Capitol Hill Mommie Mafia loves pudgy-fudgies? I didn't think so, but now you do. Spread the word, bird.

Prepare to be boarded!

Ahoy me maties. I can't believe I almost missed it. This beauty of a day comes but once a year and I'm a filthy bilge rat for almost missin' it. Today be Talk Like A Pirate Day. So, buckle your swashes, bid farewell and adieu to the fair Spanish ladies, and get yer pirate on. Arrrrg!

Oh, and in case ye be wondering:

I am The Cap'n!
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

Discover yer inner pirate and share it in the comments. Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Has anybody heard about that new pirate movie? I think it's rated Arrrrrg! And the rumor is that the MPAA said it needed an adult rating because of all the booty!

Bad Boys, Bad Boys...

Come with me, if you will, on a journey of both sight and sound. The time is 11:58 PM, you are sleeping peacefully in bed, dreaming of those things which bring you joy. You are frolicking in the bliss of your imagination. Some drool collects on your pillow and you let out a soft snufflish-snort, but definitely not a snore. Everything is at peace...

This is the Seattle Police! Come out or you will get bit! I repeat: Come out now or you will get bit!

A loud voice rips through your dreams and startles you awake. A German Sheppard barks sharply, loudly, repeatedly...

Woof! WOOF! Woof! Come out now! WOOF! WOOF! This is the Seattle Police!

In a panic you shoot out of bed. Red and blue lights flash across your ceiling. Heavy footsteps can be heard racing across your walkway. A garbage can crashes to the ground. "What the fuck is going on?" You think. "Did they finally find out that I was the one who fed the hamster crayons and made him shit colors in the 4th grade?" The adrenaline starts pumping and you are wide awake. Then you realize what is going on: the cops are chasing an actual criminal. One who just happened to think that hiding under your neighbor's car was a pretty good idea. One who is about to get bit by a ferocious sounding German Shepard if he doesn't put his hands where the officer can see them and come out from under the car. He can see you; a fact he has repeated at least half a dozen times.

Goddammit! Woof! WOOF! woof! There's another one. He's headed north! I repeat, he's headed north. 200 yards south of the scene. I have one suspect, the other is headed north.

You climb out of bed, making sure that none of the 12 cops trampling your beautiful grass can see you just in time to see the perp being dragged out from under the car. The German Sheppard happily laying down in the street, God's fear successfully instilled in everybody in the neighborhood. You spend the next 30 minutes watching the cops come and go, frisking the suspect, sorting his belongings and eventually disappearing back into the night.

Still with me? Good, now you have had the same pleasure that I had Tuesday night when I was rudely awakened by what seemed to be the entire Seattle police force. Not to say it wasn't exciting, but it took me about 2 hours to fall back asleep after the incident, and even then, I kept having dreams that the cops were after me. I'd love to link you all to the police report, or a blurb in the local police blotter, but Seattle doesn't have one of those. So, you'll have to make do with my version, unless you happen to see an episode of Cops: Seattle, because it so totally would have made the A roll.

How Am I So Slow on the Uptake?

It has recently come to my attention that Best Week Ever has a blog. Until last night at about 9:30 PM PDT I had no idea that they did. I love the TV show. Cracks me up big time and keeps me up on my celebrity gossip and pop culture happenings. But, as I am a man of the 21st century, I need this kind of news and comedy delivered to me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year and cannot be a slave to my TV or my TiVo. So now I can get all the good info I need, when I need it. For example, who knew that Tara Reid's nipple is back in public? I didn't, but BWE did. And if you saw my quick link about the lady punch you'll notice I stole that from them as well. So, now I'm sharing with you, my dear readers, the newest stop on my blog roundup. Enjoy it!